Absurdity warning! Contents of this thread may be tired or worn out!

[spacemanspiff]

so you're driving to work one day and you turn the corner to find yourself 25 yards away from a goose-stepping foreign army wearing funny looking helmets. you have your everyday carry glock 20 with 6 standard cap mags of powrball, and your trusty vepr with 10 fully loaded 75 rd drum mags.
what pose are you going to take as your picture is taken over the bodies of the 50,000 enemy soldiers you singlehandedly took out?


:eek: :rolleyes:

[Trip20]

Please go here (http://www.slais.ubc.ca/courses/libr500/03-04-wt2/www/C_Hill/profhelp.htm) whilst theres still time.

[skidmark]

There will be no pictures of me standing on top of a mound of cold, dead bodies, because I carry a .45 ACP semi-automatic pistol (death to tupperwear toys), a weapon firing a bullet second only to the dreaded .50 BMG.

That being the case, the 50,000 goose-stepping, funny looking helmet wearing foreign army will surrender and I will become the modern-day Sgt. Alvin York without having to fire a single shot.

Please be sure that the photographer knows enough to use a bounce flash, as a direct flash will cause reflection from my tin-foil hat to create a false image of a halo, thus hiding the real one that shines behind me as I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. :D

[chris in va]

You guys are seriously, seriously messed up. :p

[mantis7]

http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/j/a/jav168/warrior%20with%20tongue%20sword.jpg

[BillCA]

Owwwwie! :eek:

In regards to your scenario...
Look at the gearshift -- see that little "R" on there?

I dunno how fast a Dodge 4x4 will go in reverse, in 4WD with the throttle wide open, but I'd know about 30 seconds after rounding that corner!

[JohnKSa]

That's ridiculous... :barf: :rolleyes:

















Assuming you have one up the pipe in both guns you could only kill 842 of them unless you're killing more than one per shot.

[swmike]

Unless he lined them up just right and used ball ammo. Lots of penetration, you know. :cool: After all when overwhelmed, innovate. :D

[Capt Charlie]

Definitely the Captain Morgan stance! You know, one knee up high and arms crossed? Then again, too much Captain Morgan, and I'll be prone with the rest of the stiffs :D :D

[JohnKSa]

Ok, assuming he has 842 rounds on him, how many can he kill if they line up just right?

I'm thinking no more than 10 per shot to put a very liberal limit on it... so that still only gives him 8,420 down.

He's going to have to kill the other 41,580 with his tactical folding knife. Unfortunately it's going to get dull after a few thousand kills. Obviously he'll need to carry a sharpening stone.

[USP45usp]

John,

You don't know the Spiff Man, He's, well, tactical and stuff. He's into the Carbon Fiber so he has the laptop to take out at least 1,000 of them and then he is a ninjatudeness type of guy that can take out around 35,000 without them seeing him, He is +10000 on ninjatude you know.

And to top it all off, he's got this EVIL, EVIL dude that suplies him with arms by the name of "DangerboyWildAlaskaDon'tMessWithMe" dude that brings in all types of bad arms to the peaceful, and cuddly bear friendly area, of Alaska (were they peaceniks hug the Polar Bears when they get a chance... funny thing is... there isn't that many peaceniks left anymore :confused: ).

So you have to realize that yes, with the help of the crazy man, Spacemanspiff can indeed do what he has said. I've learned that you don't mess with a man from Alaska with Ninjatude!

Wayne

;)

[joab]

I'm thinking no more than 10 per shot to put a very liberal limit on it... so that still only gives him 8,420 down. Won't some of the UN Peacekeepers have guns that they will no longer be using?

[Wildalaska]

Cant use the Glock it will kaboom with the first shot

WildanyacanthitnothinwithaveprAlaska

[spacemanspiff]

blasphemy! :D

[JohnKSa]

he's got this EVIL, EVIL dude that suplies him with arms by the name of...Crikey! Spiff AND WildtheycallmeKenAlaska against 50,000 troops...

Won't anybody help those poor troops? The HUMANITY! :eek:

They'll probably make the survivors shoot WA's .338 :(

[CajunBass]

You got 25 yards from a foreign army and didn't know they were there? I guess this means you missed the morning news doesn't it?

[Wildalaska]

They'll probably make the survivors shoot WA's .338

No thanks I dont want to be pilloried in the media for torturing prisoners

WildticklethemyeahthatsitletsticklealqaedaguystilltheytalkAlaska

[SGHOTH]

Getting back to the origional question. I think VEPR in the right hand, held high. Glock 20 in the left hand casually hanging and right foot up in the air on the pileus courpus.

Perhaps with the chin up and head held high. Slight smirk, corner of the mouth type. :cool:

[SamD]

IF I happened to come into posession of any plastic, it'll be C4 not Austrian Tupperware. :D Not much of a photo op after using that. :barf: I don't do pix anywho. They always get my bad side with the scars.
Sam

[Superhornet]

If you happen to come upon a scene like that....step out of the car unarmed, put you head between you legs and kiss you butt goodbye.............

[Avizpls]

I can't believe this thread is still running away unlocked

[spacemanspiff]

oh i'm sorry aviz, is this taking precious seconds away from everyone elses ninja fantasies of stopping hordes of terrorists on planes, trains and automobiles?

[Avizpls]

haha, I dont know. You'll have to take that up with them. :rolleyes:

[Billy Sparks]

The bad thing is that I probably couldn't get time off from work to stop the hordes. Hmmm maybe I can have my boss micro manage them...that has done wonders for my moral.

[spacemanspiff]

achmed: mrs sparks, can billy come out and play 'stop the jihad' with us?

mrs sparks: no achmed, billy has to finish completing the cover pages for his TPS reports. maybe tomorrow he can play with you.

[Hard Ball]

If I am carrying a Glock I will know that it is just a bad dream and I will wake up!

[kozak6]

Here is how I would pose:

[Kilroy08]

And how old are we???? Yeah, it's an entertaining daydream.....
But I've outgrown my Red Dawn/Invasion U.S.A. phase now.

Bomb shelters, how 'bout some good old-fashioned bomb shelters?
Well stocked with enough cold beer to ride out any disaster.
Screw the world, it's Miller time! :cool:

If my supply runs out, then I'll tag a few commies on the way to the beer store. In the mean time, the Apocalypse Beer Pong Championships start at 2330 followed up by the Case Race Steeplechase tommorrow at 1700.

Who else is up for a kegger in this scenario? I'm sure Spiff is fairly thirsty after singlehandedly stopping the commie hordes. Btw, please check all firearms at the door. Liability issues and such.

That's my smart a$$ response for tonight, have fun!

[Billy Sparks]

TPS reports Unless you live in a fabric covered box aka cube and seen the movive Office Space people do not know why I am chuckling. I tell you what Kilroy I'll cook steaks my wife can cook cakes and cobblers if ya'll share the beer, spiffy should have a good appeitite and quite thirsty after vanquishing the hordes.

Spiffy how you want your NY strip?

[spacemanspiff]

bloody!

:D

[dasmi]

First, I suggest you drive your vehicle full speed into their lines, then hop out, firing your long gun until empty. You then pull the glock, and fire it until it melts, or kabooms, or you run out of ammo. Then you pull out your tactical folder, and start cutting people, then when the blade breaks off in some poor commie's skull, you grab him by the feet, and use him as a club. I think this scenario is very well thought out, and quite realistic. :)
My victory pose would look something like this...
http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/zoom/pvp_aleandwhores.jpg

[Kilroy08]

Ha ha!!!!!!!!!

Dasmi, where the heck can I get one of those shirts?? Sounds like my first week home on Christmas leave! The ale yes, but she was a very nice friend who I hadn't seen in a while.

Mr. Sparks, what's your flavor??? Since this is a hypothetical scenario....
My fridge stocks everything from Piel's and PBR :barf: to Guiness and Beck's.
Might even be some Stroh's in there too... I'm a Foster's man, myself.

Now that I've sobered up.... Time to load my Browning High Power and 1903 A3. For the long shots. Yes, like Col. Cooper, I too believe in a full power combat cartridge! :D
Zombies, Red Chinese, North Koreans, or Terrorists. Too many targets to choose from.

[dasmi]

Shirt is here:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/pvp/6d0f/

[Scribe]

It's High time you got an Xbox, Mate. Live your Dream!

[Billy Sparks]

Kilroy08, Corona Light or Bud Light. that decided do we want baked potatos or homemade potato chips?