January 17, 2005, 12:42 AM
On a tour of Alaska, the pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sight seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A totally helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, and a "Save the Whales" Tee-shirt, with a tree hugger Hat, was struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly. As the pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear. Then using long clubs, the three loggers beat the bear to death and hauled it to their truck. Immediately the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between loggers and environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true." As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," another replied, "he's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom." "Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom, but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting..... By the way, is the bait holding up okay, or do we need to go back to town and grab another one?"